Men At Work in Therapy

     Men have tough days. Men feel misunderstood. Men worry. Men suffer. So, why does society expect them to stuff down their feelings and “man up”? It really doesn’t make sense. As a clinician in private practice in Red Bank, NJ, my specialized work with men gives them space to express their emotions without anyone else’s judgement, problem solve with logic, and get “unstuck” from whatever situation they may find themselves in.
    It’s unusual to find a therapist who specializes in individual therapy with men.  Males make up only one third of all counseling clients in the US, but being a male carries a higher risk of suicide completion, alcoholism, attention deficit disorder, and a range of other mental health difficulties. On top of that, compared to women, men have fewer close relationships, making their struggles potentially isolating and lonely. What makes the fact that men tend to shy away from formal mental health services extra disturbing is that, by and large, men and women have the same wants and needs. Men deserve to have an unbiased sounding board to help them process life’s bumps, and that’s where therapy comes in.
    Can a woman be a good therapist for a man? One of the biggest determining factors if therapy will be successful is how well a person is able to connect with their therapist. A person needs to feel that his therapist is nonjudgmental, interested in what he has to say, and accepting of him exactly as he is. You can expect this from me. I’ve worked with men regarding topics as sensitive as porn viewing, cheating on a significant other, and sexual abuse. So, if you are ok talking about something, then I am too. Men sometimes don’t want to talk about a problem as much as women do—they just want to fix it. This is not a judgment or a bad thing, but rather just a difference between the genders. This is something I understand well, and am good with it. Also, it might make more sense for a man who is having relationship concerns with a female to share his stuck points with a female therapist who may be able to view the problem from a different lens than a male therapist. While a man's first instinct may be to seek out a male therapist for treatment, he should give fair consideration to working with a woman.
    My client and I build rapport over a few sessions, and then set out treatment goals for future sessions. If we both work hard, my client can reach his goals. If you think this kind of approach might work for you, please call me at 908-907-3636 for a free 15 minute consultation where we can decide together if making an appointment is the right move. (Telehealth appointments available.)

Dayna Stein, MST, MSW, LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and certified in Trauma Focused-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Hypnosis for Fatigue (CBTH).  Dayna earned degrees from Boston University, New School University, and Monmouth University, and prior to private practice in Red Bank, NJ,  she specialized in trauma therapy at  Catholic Charities and New Hope Integrated Behavioral Health Care, both in Monmouth County. Although she works sometimes with teens and women, she specializes with adult men.  ​

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