How to Know When It's Time to Let Go of Someone You Love

Several of my clients right now are grasping with the same issue. Their romantic relationships seem to have more struggles and fewer cuddles than they did when they first began. My clients are trying to figure out if these conflicts are simply growing pains, and a normal part of a long-term relationship, or if they are deal breakers, and should pave the way to an exit. What one should do, of course, is not a question that any therapist can answer for you. However, therapists can help you gain clarity, support, and confidence when making a decision.

So what are some of the serious signs of a romance going South? I agree with the author in this Time magazine article, How to Know When it's Time to Let Go of Someone You Love who points to these signs that it may be a no-go:

• Your needs are not being met​
• You're seeking those needs from others -- or seriously considering doing so
• You're scared to ask more from you're partner
• Your friends and family don't support your relationship
• You feel obligated to stay with your partner
• You've been trying to fix the relationship for more than a year
• You don't like your partner
• You're partner is abusive

One of the most common reasons my clients give for staying in a relationship that is not working well is because they are afraid to be alone. Most of the time, this fear is unfounded. Why? Because after a grieving period after a break-up, there is typically a feeling a relief and renewal when one regains freedom and "gets back out there". 

Dayna Stein, MST, MSW, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in a Red Bank, NJ private practice and part-owner of Red Bank Psychological Services. She works with clients who are feeling stuck and has current openings in her schedule. 
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